Written by Ken Bernock
I received a surprise phone call from an ex teammate of mine. His name is Dave and I haven’t talked to him since our playing days together close to 7 years ago.
I heard years back that he hit a tough time in his life. He started hanging out with the wrong crowd after hockey and started using drugs on a daily basis. When you’re in your early twenties and hearing ex teammates making these life changing decisions it leaves a pain deep inside of you.
When you’re a part of a team you spend many hours together. Making you close, not only calling them teammates, and friends, but brothers. That’s what a team is, a brotherhood. You’ve bled, sweat, puked and battled with these people to achieve the common goal of winning a championship.
I decided to meet with Dave and see how he was doing. Telling myself I’m not giving him money or helping him out in any way that would make me feel uncomfortable.
We met in a coffee shop and I was amazed finding Dave looking healthy and upbeat. Not remotely looking run down on drugs.
I found out he was 3 years sober and home for the holidays as he now resides in California.
He wanted to meet up with some of the people that had a positive influence on him in his past.
What he shared with me while sitting there drinking coffee about his recovery was fascinating. I thought I would share with you the key reasons he is where he is today. Almost 4 years sober.
1. Experts don’t always have the answer - They will give you guidelines and what they feel is right. Make sure you listen. Chances are there’s some truth to what they’re saying. Remember it’s about you and what’s inside you, not them.
2. Friends – You understand who your true friends are. Who runs for the hills, and who just wants to use you. Finding your true friends is one of the most important things you can do. I don’t recommend finding your true friends the way Dave discovered his. You learn more about people when times are tough then any other part of life.
3. Tribe – Who you hang out with has a huge influence on what you do, and potentially who you become. When he has playing hockey he was part of a brotherhood. When his hockey career was over he was lost and out of place. Before he knew it he was hanging out with the wrong people walking down the wrong path.
4. Control – If you don’t have control over your body and more importantly your mind, then you have nothing. When someone else or in Dave’s case a drug controls you, you have nothing until you can get back the control that you lost.
5. Discipline – Dave has to battle this addiction everyday. He doesn’t have days off. When you battle addiction, having a day off or even weak moments is unacceptable. One weak moment and his life could change back for the worse. All the hard work and time invested is gone.
Dave is now focusing all his energy on projects that make a difference in his life and others. He said that if he can focus on these projects like he focused on getting high he will make a huge impact in a very short period of time.
In the next couple weeks I will be releasing a free guide to all my email subscribers. A short guide on what I’ve learned battling through life winning and losing all the games I’ve played.